Light through all of the Darkness

Last cycle was so confusing! 18 days in and my damn period shows up. I was so confused, still am really. I started my Vitex regularly this cycle and lo and behold, I ovulated early! CD19 and I actually ovulated instead of not Ovulating until CD50+ Man that shit was for the birds! I just don't know if it was the Vitex that did it or if it was the crazy cycle regulating me. That would be amazing if that's what it was. So as of today, I'm 7DPO. Not sure about any symptoms yet though, except being extremely tired. It feels like someone slipped me an Ambien, I even took a nap this morning! I guess that's really about it for now!

Truly the funniest video in the world!

6 Months in...

I always thought having sex was all you needed to do to get pregnant. After all that's all I did as a teenager and was blessed with 2 wonderful kids.  I've wanted another baby for the last 7-8 years. I never in my life thought it was going to be this hard though. I was never "actively" trying in the years before, just basically having sex and hoping it would happen. I never knew how much work was involved in it. Now I am charting my basal body temperature to indicate when ovulation occurs, charting cervical mucous and position to determine "fertile" status, and peeing on ovulation prediction tests to determine ovulation is coming! I've only been charting "religiously" for about 2 cycles, which for me is about 4 months. I feel like I'm not obsessing ENOUGH about trying to get pregnant. There is so much more I can do to help the process along. I also feel like Jay doesn't want it as bad as I do, we don't talk about things regarding the subject, I feel like I'm doing all the work, but at the same time, all the charting, now feels like second nature and it doesn't seem like I'm doing it for the benefit of getting pregnant. Maybe I obsessed about it so much over the past years that I'm just numb to it now, I want to obsess over it with out be depressed over it. I don't want to give up yet but I want it to be easier, I want to stop thinking about it in my head and be able to have a serious conversation with Jay about it as well. I don't want to feel alone, I want someone I can talk to that will comfort me as well as being my rock. I'm tired of feeling this way.